"Fast Track Adoption" Ends in Suicide
Natural mother commits suicide after "Fast Track Adoption" book reveals how she was used by the woman who adopted her daughter.
(PRWEB) April 13, 2004 -- Susan Burns, Psy.D. is undoubtedly proud of her
book "Fast Track Adoption" which provides prospective adopters some ideas on how
to go about soothing a frightened young woman's fears and making her feel she is
making a good decision for her child.
But, there is one angle her book
does not cover: How will your adopted child's natural mother feel when she finds
out how proud you are of the methods you used to talk her out of her child? How
will she feel when you break all the promises you made to her?
Burns
writes: "Without an agency's interference, (the child's parents) and (the people
considering adoption) have a greater voice in in making key decisions, often
resulting in a better "fit" for everyone involved."
"...knowing about the
(prospective) adopting family prior to the placement can assist a (natural)
mother in her grieving process by reassuring her that she has made the right
choice."
It seems unlikely to me that Burns is truly concerned about
everyone involved or about the grieving process of a mother who has lost her
child to adoption.
I got this email today (April 9, 2004) from a friend
who is very involved with the open adoption community:
"I'm grieving my
good friend right now. Cindy was a member of my adoption group for a year and a
half -- we were supposed to meet next month. The (people who adopted) her
daughter broke promises and Cindy never recovered. She took her life yesterday.
Her daughter will be three on the 19th."
"I'm trying to help the members
of my group ...and myself grieve. We were all SO close. She also left behind two
teen boys. Please keep them in your prayers."
"(The woman who adopted her
daughter) wrote the sickening new adoption book "Fast Track Adoption" ...and may
even appear on 20/20 talking about how to get a baby quick. Cindy found out
about this book by accident and was devastated by it's contents and how she was
left out and used."
Many people are unaware of this dark side of
adoption. The adoption industry has found ways to thwart attempts by natural
moms and adoptees to voice their concerns about unethical adoption practices.
One of the most revolting of the tactics used to obtain babies is the promise of
"open adoption", the promise of continued contact with their child, made only
with the intent to lure in unsuspecting mothers who might have otherwise kept
their child. Open adoption agreements are not legally binding as other child
custody or visitation agreements are and this frequently has devastating
consequences. Many a mother is grieving the loss of a child to adoption. This
grieving is compounded when she has so obviously, blatantly been used as a
baby-making machine and then tossed out like yesterday's garbage once her child
is in possession of the adopters. In Cindy's case, not only she but her sons and
probably other family members were expecting contact with their sister,
granddaughter, niece as well.
This is for Cindy Jordan and for all other
moms who have been so used. This is for Cindy's daughter, her sons, her mother
and father, her whole family. I hope our churches will mention this from the
pulpit and work to enact change. I hope our human rights organizations will take
note and work to enact changes. I hope women's
organizations will for once stand up for these women who have been so long
marginalized in this way and work to prevent further abuse.
Not everyone
benefits from adoption and it's time people knew about it and did something.
Those mothers and fathers who are making a decision whether to keep
their child or surrender their child for adoption deserve legal protections
which include real information about the emotional risks to themselves, their
child and other family members. They deserve to be protected from slick
advertising and sales pitches from those seeking to adopt independently, from
the adoption industry and from adoption lawyers. They deserve to be protected
from the pressure put on them to choose prospective adopters before their child
is even born which makes it very hard for them to disappoint them later.
They deserve to be treated with the respect due a human being, with the
respect due a parent who is trying to make the best decision possible for their
child and their families.
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Source : http://www.prweb.com/releases/2004/4/prweb117838.htm