Marriage Counselor Transforms Fred Flintstone into Alan Alda for $19.95
Listen up, Wilmas of the world. The reason men don’t share their feelings isn’t because they don’t want to. It’s because they have no idea what they are. Betsy Sansby, a Minnesota marriage counselor, has created an ingenious communication tool that helps men develop greater emotional fluency without you having to push, prod, or plead. It’s called the OuchKit: Marriage Counseling in a Box, and it contains a set of exchangeable, fill-in the blank cards that help couples calm down, gain perspective, and express even the most difficult feelings without defensiveness or blame. To try out the cards for free go to: www.theouchkit.com and send Ouch, Sorry, and Thanks e-cards.
(PRWEB) November 10, 2004 -- Is your husband’s idea of an apology telling you
how sorry he is that you're so uptight? When he's mad, does he shut down, blow
up, or work on his laptop instead of the relationship? There's good news for all
you Wilmas out there—whatever your gender. Betsy Sansby, a Minnesota marriage
counselor, has found a way to help even the most emotionally-challenged man
share his feelings without you having to push, prod, or plead. It’s called The
OuchKit: Marriage Counseling in a Box (www.theouchkit.com).
Over the past twenty years, Sansby
has seen hundreds of couples. Most say they still love each other but over time
they’ve grown apart. The men complain that no matter what they do their wives
are never satisfied. The women complain that the reason they're never satisfied
is because their husbands don’t give them what they want. Sansby explains:
“Women don't want to be fixed. They want to be heard. They don’t want to ‘have
sex’. They want to ‘make love’.” And they want their husbands to share their
feelings. “The thing women don’t understand,” says Sansby, “is that the reason
men don’t share their feelings isn’t because they don’t want to. It’s because
they don’t know what they are. How can we expect men to express feelings they’ve
spent a lifetime learning to hide, suppress, and deny?”
Eventually,
couples get frustrated with each other and stop trying to connect. In the end,
what Sansby believes is destroying marriages isn't violence, but a “stony
silence” that results from years of mutual frustration, misunderstanding, and
disconnection. The OuchKit gives couples a way to break through this silence and
revitalize their relationships.
The fascinating thing about The OuchKit
is the effect it’s having on men. “Suddenly,” says Sansby, “a man with the
emotional fluency of a rock starts telling his wife how hurt, unattractive and
lonely he feels when she pushes him away sexually.” It’s not that men don’t have
feelings. It seems they just need help locating and naming them.
Here’s
how The OuchKit works. The kit contains 6 different kinds of cards, each with a
different purpose: Ouch, Sorry, Thanks, You're Welcome, I've Been Wondering, and
Now That You Mention it. You get a strong feeling and grab whichever card fits
the situation. For example, if you’re hurt, you grab an Ouch card. If you’ve
been a jerk, you grab a Sorry card. Then you fill out the back of the card—which
has fill-in-the blank questions and checklists of emotions—and leave it where
your partner will find it. Your partner responds with another card, whichever
one feels like the appropriate response. You keep exchanging cards until you’re
both feeling better and are ready to talk face-to-face.
"There's
something deeply affirming about the simple act of naming our
feelings—especially the vulnerable ones." says Sansby. "I'm always amazed at how
quickly men drop their anger once they've found the right words to describe what
they’re feeling." And once they’ve calmed down, they're much more willing to
broaden their perspective and assume the best about their partner.
The
Ouchkit is available on-line at: www.theouchkit.com. Discounts available for quantity orders.
You can try out the cards for free by visiting the website and sending your own
Ouch, Sorry and Thanks E-cards.
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Source : http://www.prweb.com/releases/2004/11/prweb176143.htm